So if you're wicked sick, here's what you make.

Don't make progresso soup.  I did and made myself eat a bowl, then I v*m*t*d.

Lemme back up a minit.

This weekend, my most recent other half and I were cavorting in Portsmouth NH, enjoying the beery goodness that is Portsmouth Beer Week.  I had some tasty, oh-so-tasty mussels at The Portsmouth Brewery as an accompaniment to my glass of Kate the Great, who exacted revenge from beyond their stomach-y grave and gave me Super A+Plus Food Poisoning, the likes of which I have not endured in years.*

*This is not to say their mussels will make you sick.  My handsome date had a plate and was fine.  However, I am now categorically swearing off eating shellfish in a restaurant.


SO.

After a day of gastrointestinal hell, I thought I might be 'kay to go back to work; alas, no.  In the meantime I figured I may as well try to eat something.  As previously stated, the soup didn't work out so well.

The Interwebs inform me that when one has food poisoning, one should eat bananas, rice, applesauce and toast.  As in fresh bananas, white rice, packaged applesauce and white toast.

My fridge has hippie food in it.  I can't remember the last time I bought white rice to keep on hand... oh wait, mebe i have some rissoto rice?  Dang... and the only thing close to bread was the moldy homemade loaf I ditched earlier and the frozen Ezekiel bread I keep on hand for those rare occasions when I want a sammige and I have to make it myself.  I haven't got applesauce, and my only bananas are in the freezer.

CRAP

I guess this conundrum can be solved.  It gets challenging when you're dehydrated and your electrolytes are low.

So here's what you need:

- a couple apples
- a paring knife, if you can find it. I think someone used it and put it on the counter without washing it.  Then I washed it and put it on the counter... without re-washing it?  or something.  There was a point in there.
- maybe a cutting board?
- a saucepan thinger
- some water
- a banana.  mine was frozen.  I'll explain some other time.

So you want to peel the apples, core them and chop the crap out of them, then put them in the pot.  Simmer for a bit.  Then, realize a banana is a good idea.  Defrost it a bit, since it's frozen, then peel it and throw it in the pan.  It should be easy to peel the banana since the defrosting does something or other.

Cook it with a lid, and throw some salt in since you're dehydrated from turning your guts into a waterslide all day yesterday.  Simmer until you decide you might be able to keep something down.

You end up with this:

That is, after you put it in a bowl with a spoon.


Mange on it!