Sunday Triple Whammy

I'll keep this as brief as I can. It's Sunday night and you're all getting ready to go to work (or ding a level on WoW, as I am).

But SINCE it's Sunday, there was plenty of time for cooking stuff. Pancakes --> Stuff Tempura --> Kettle Korn

You will likely suffer one or two burns.

Pancakes.

- Dig out the Joy of Cooking
- Turn to the Pancake recipe
- get your frypan wicked hot and toss in some Smart Balance.
- Between getting the recipe and heating the pan, follow the recipe to make the batter. I can't remember it and I didn't invent it, so I'm not going to quote it back here.

So make your first two HUGE pancakes with regular batter. Stir in frozen blueberries for the other two. Here's the kicker - you find your roommates (probably) have devoured all of the maple syrup. Break out some more Smart Balance, confectioner sugar, and some strawberries (yeah, sliced, sugared, and lemoned) that happen to be hanging out in the fridge. Toss that on, get it all melty and tasty and nom away. That takes care of breakfast. Since we had that at 2, that also counted as Lunch. Brilliant!

Stuff Tempura.

So the night before, get all ready because you think you're going to make it then. Slice up (or have your boyfriend slice for you, because he is awesome at cutting stuff):
- 1 chinese eggplant (the long thin ones. Check the asian store if you can't find one in ye olde hypermart)
- 1 yam (sweet potato?)
- Some red and green pepper.
- An onion (yeah he's definitely doing that one)
So when you realize you're out of oil, put that in the fridge to do tomorrow.

Otherwise ready:
- Some shrimp. Mmm

If you're adventurous:
- ground beef
- panko
- Salt, pepper, the usual
- Some soy sauce

Get together for a batter:
- 1 cup rice flour
- 1/2 cup club soda (cold)
- 1 egg

You also need:
- a shitload of oil. Like half a jug of wesson.

And if you don't have a deep fry thermometer, you're screwed.

So put the oil in the wok (or big old pan) and get it heated to 350. That's going to take a bit. While that's getting warm (hot hot hot), get the burger meat and mix it with the panko, salt, pepper, soy sauce, and whatever else looks appropriate.

Then make the batter RIGHT BEFORE you intend to fry. Mix the club soda and the egg. Whisk it pretty good. Then dump in the rice flour and mix it ever so slightly - lumps are OK. Mixing it too much is going to activate too much gluten and it just won't taste right.

So now your oil is nice and hot. Dip something in the batter. Good. Now throw it CAREFULLY in the oil (or place it gingerly with a chopstick). When it's kinda golden (this is rice flour, it's not going to brown much) fish it out. Eat that stuff right away. You can also make a nice sauce but it's doubtful you have dashi on hand. If you do, combine some dashi, soy sauce, mirin, and I think that was it (Z made it) and boil it. When it reaches boiling, take it off the heat and let it cool down.

If your night was anything like mine, the stuff you cooked first will be wicked cold before the last bits are done, so it's completely acceptable to snack as you go. Just make sure you pick the pieces that've been out of the oil for a while...

And finally, Kettle Korn!

Get your Popcorn Pan ready (if you don't have one, get ye to the kitchen supply store for a bigass sauce pan, like 2 gallons or whatever. Has to be a kitchen supply one - that crap at Wal Mart isn't fit to cook mac and cheese).

Put enough oil in it to cover the bottom of the pan ever so slightly, then throw in 3 popcorn kernels. Put the lid on. When one pops, open it back up. Dump in some sugar - I eyeballed it but it must have been around a cup. Add some salt, and enough popcorn to JUST cover the bottom of the pan. TRUST ME - otherwise you will have WAY too much popcorn. That seems like a good idea, but really - no.

As it's popping, shake it shake it shake it. Shake it like mad. That makes it good. When the popping doesn't "ping!" the lid so much, take the lid OFF (it'll help the steam escape, giving you crunchier popcorn! very important) and keep shaking as much as you can. If you know anything you know that when the popping stops, or at least tapers off really slow-like, it's done. Turn the burner off and get that pan offa it. You have to let the corn cool a little before you go a-snackin - otherwise it's not as crunchy and OW OW OW burn.

That's a delicious day.