"Awful Chinese Soup" aka Zhe shold stick with omlets.

This was for dinner tonight. I *didn't* make it. In case you're curious, the cat had cat food.

Use up from you girlfriend's cupboard:

- 3 things of udon noodles
- All of the dried kelp. The first one you find. This one turned out to be... Kelp. Plenty of it by the looks of things. "It expands exponentially! It looks deceiving!" - Z
- Tofu, 1 block from the chinese store. If you don't have a chinese store, that's a sad situation, and you'll need half a block of the regular white people store tofu. Don't buy it at the health food store because they charge too much.
- Bamboo shoots, 1 package. Really good ones. Again, if you don't have a chinese store you may be outta luck.
- "Chives" - Z Which are actually green onion tops, 3 stalks
- Sesame oil. "This much - glub glub glub glub glub glub, done."
- Soy sauce. "Like 17 dashes. 7 dashes. Not 17".
- MSG (if you don't have a tin of this in your cupboard, for shame.)
- Kosher salt. shoosh some in. "Pinches?"

Water - "yeah." "until I ... I don't know!"

Put the water in first. Yeah, on the stove in a pan. "I got it to simmering"

First, put in the sesame oil, salt and MSG, then soy sauce. Then try to make it taste good "which it almost did". Then, add seaweed "because that adds flavor".

Then take 3 packs of udon noodles and toss them in (uncerimoniously, might I add.)

If you forgot to chop the bamboo and onion tops, like our hero did, do that now and toss those in. In the interim, your udon should (over)cook.

Then toss the tofu in (because it doesn't take long to cook).

"You eat it." With chopsticks, some chopped tomato, and a healthy dose of rooster sauce. (Sriracha chili sauce only - accept no imitations!)