Culinary Adventure Time

Not sure where all that motivation came from...

2010-10-17T17:58:00.000-07:00

As of 5 o'clock this evening I had slept pretty much all day. I'm not as sniffly as I've been feeling, but still fairly ill. I knew I needed something to nom upon.

Luckily I had squirreled away a box of Annie's shells & cheddar for just such an occasion (and I didn't have any canned chicken soup, darn).

So to start, throw half a squash in the oven. make sure you scoop the innards and put a glop of smart balance or butter or whatev in the middle. Let that bake for a bit at 350 which is my general all purpose temp for probably anything.

Get yer water boiling for the pasta. Once it boils, throw the pasta in. You should know that already and if you don't... I'm not sure if there is much hope.

Alright here is where it gets good. Once the pasta is cooked, remove it to a colander (or alternately a sculabasta if you have sicilian roots or a sicilian ex) for a bit because you need the pan.

Melt some butter or reasonable facsimile thereof in the still hot pan. You may want to turn the heat on, actually, because we are going to grate in a bit of smoked gouda, a wee bit of swiss and try to grate in some raw milk goat cheese as well (stuff gets hard as a romano if you leave it in the fridge for a bit, but still nommy).

You'll want to pour in some milk too as that all melts. Remember, heat on :-D

Then stir in the orange powder that comes with the annie's. that stuff is GOOD.

I had a bunch of spinach graciously donated from my bro's wedding, so I threw some good handfuls of that in too. Use more than you think you need because it will cook WAAAY down. It would have been good if I had sauteed some shallots and added those, but maybe next time...

Alright once the spinach has cooked a little, add the pasta back in. Stir like mad. The spinach will wilt a bunch more and the pasta will get cheese all over it. This is intentional.

Then, see if your squash is done; mine was. Throw it all in a bowl and dig in. OMG so good. There was even enough left for lunch tomorrow, though I am only one girl so ymmv

Sick Soup

2010-10-12T17:41:00.000-07:00

Day 2 of fish failure, this time because I am coming down with something gnarly ill. The guy I work with wasn't sure if I meant the bad type of sick or the awesome type of sick. Oh, I'm always the awesome type of sick, I said. No, this is the my throat tickles and I feel a fever coming on, and need sleep stat.

This is the type of sick I don't need because I can't afford to miss work.

Ergo, no fish. Instead, chicken soup. Nothing canned in the house, nobody to send out for some soup, running too low on cash to order in. What's that in the cupboards? A squash, some onions, udon noodles, chicken broth... and a chicken breast in the freezer! My, my. Let me grab some garlic and celery too...

Saute the aromatic bits in some olive oil, then add the squash and the chicken. You want it to brown a little - this will make it tastier.

Once it browns, throw in some broth. Let your pot of comfort simmer on low heat for half an hour or so. Once the squash is squishy and the chicken is cooked through, add the udon noodles and cook until they are just bendy.

Throw it in a bowl and eat it.

I have cider mulling too, this smells goood but OH! I feel eww.

Drat

2010-10-11T21:31:00.000-07:00

I've fumbled in my mission to bring you various fish and it's only day 2.

I promise I had a perfectly good reason. My bestie's husband is on his way to London so she had the ladies (B and I) over for not-so-scary-after-all movies (Session 9, shot in Danvers MA - hmm not a cinematic masterpiece) and tasty foods from Trader Joe's.

The Menu:

Maccarones *I am probably spelling that wrong. They were good but sweet.

Whoopie Pies *entirely my fault

Baguette with goat cheese (now you're talking!)

Spinach phyllo feta ... thing. Tasty!

Various Red and White, courtesy of Charles Shaw

There was going to be a pear torte but we kinda forgot about that. We were in terrible suspense to find out how the terrible movie ended. (No spoilers, sorry)

Your regularly scheduled fish will resume tomorrow.

So long, and thanks for all the fish!

2010-10-10T20:38:00.000-07:00

As an unintended side-effect of my brother getting married, I have 10 pounds of fish in my freezer, minus the fillet I had for dinner. It's a very mild white asian catfish of some sort... He told me the name but I've forgotten.

At the reception it was grilled and paired with wedges of acorn squash (YUM!). I did something similar tonight by drizzling the fillet with olive oil, seasoning with salt and pepper, and broiling. I had it with leftover carnival squash that's been in my fridge, waiting to be nommed, and some green beans (also courtesy of the nuptials).

The fact remains, I have about 10 pounds of fish that I need some inspiration for. There are only so many meals of fish tacos, broiled fish and fish nuggets that one girl can endure. Suggest something!

Beef and Beef Stew!

2010-10-10T16:49:00.000-07:00

I just got back from my brother's Wedding Weekend Extravaganza. He's a chef, so of course the food was tasty. Best memory of the weekend was him seasoning, no lie, what looked like a quarter of a cow the night before the wedding to throw it in the big commercial oven overnight at 200 "Low and Slow!"

I had another encounter with beef earlier this week - Beef Stew of Awesome.

Get a package of stew chuck, about as much as you think will make a decent stew for you. Size and servings may vary. I also got a package of beef shanks (mmm beef marrow) to add to it.

Throw your stewpot on the stove and heat it up. Add some oil and herbs to get the fragrant goodness going (Sage, Thyme, ... uh Rosemary, not sure what else I used.) Add Shallots for extra awesome, and an onion or two won't hurt. (*warning, eyes may sting like mad).

Stir that around a bit with a wooden spoon. Once it looks good, put the meat in the pot to sear it. I always have trouble with this and end up cooking it the entire way through whilst searing. Feh.

Now that the meat is seared, pour a bottle of Shipyard Pumpkinhead into the pot. That might not cover everything though, so add some apple cider. Put everything on a slow low simmer, and WAIT. You can't rush tastiness like this. Gotta let that connective tissue relax into deliciousness.

Wait some more. Stir when it looks like it needs it. Resist the urge to bean your roommate with the spoon when he decides it needs stirring.

Alright. You have waited three hours or so, and things are looking good. What you want to do now is chop up some potatoes (I used Yukon Gold but I'm not a huge fan of how it turned out. I'll try creamer potatoes next time - more expensive but probably the texture I want) and some carrots, unless you're lazy like me and have the "baby carrots" on hand (which are NOT baby carrots, just broken ends that get tumbled into baby-ness. Sorry to ruin your illusions.)

Into the pot they go! And if you have anything else on hand that looks like it belongs in stew (frozen mixed vegetables that have stayed with you through 2 moves, for example), add those as well. If the level of liquid is looking low (this all needs to be simmered together), add some more cider and some chicken broth. Trust me on this.

Keep it cooking - low and slow - until the veggies are tender. If the potatoes are done but the carrots are still a bit crisp, don't worry - it'll be tasty.

I was too lazy to actually bake bread so I served these with some freezer rolls from Whole Paycheck, but there was some insanely good bread at the wedding, and I'll try to steal the recipe for it.

Chicken instead of bananananananan bread

2010-09-27T19:50:00.000-07:00

Ever see the Swedish Chef where he makes banana split?

No?

Go YouTube it then come back. I just love the way he says "bananananana"

OK so I wanted to make some banananana bread but the darn tricky thing is they only stay *perfect* momentarily. It's almost ephemeral, how fleeting banananana perfection is. So instead they went into the disposal. I'll spare you the details.

So instead... I've stumbled on the best, BEST freaking chicken EVER.

Or, I've perfected Boneless Skinless Buffalo Chicken.

Get ye some chicken. Mine is from whole foods and comes in nifty plastic packages that I can just toss into the freezer and forget that I have, then never defrost them and have to resort to a bowl of cheerios, some easily defrosted (but typically gnasty) cod, or the like. But as I have monies again, I bought some nommiful chicken and prepared to make it more nommiful thusly:

- Rinse the chicken. It's just weird if you don't.

- Get a cutting board, your nice sharp rosewood handled Forschner chef's knife (http://www.amazon.com/RH-Forschner-Rosewood-Chefs-Knife/dp/B000MDB4LO) and a bowl. Glass is preferred. No not that kind.

- Alright, throw some vinegar in the bowl and chop the nasty bits off the chicken, then cube it approximately.

- throw the chicken bits into yon vinegar.

Upon the vinegarish chicken sprinkle ye some olive oil, sea salt, pepper, cayenne pepper, onion powder, cumin, and try to remember not to unscrew the paprika cap because you don't need the whole bottle in there. Trust me.

This is the important bit!

Drizzle about 2 tablespoons of honey into everything.

Did you pay attention? That's going to be important when you EAT this.

Alright mix everything up really good, then throw the bits onto the broiling pan. Shove it in the oven, and broil, turning when it looks like it's time to.

While that broils, you will need to make some sauce! You need butter, or a reasonable facsimile thereof. Throw it in a smallish saucepan and melt it up. Add apple cider vinegar (just a wee bit unless you had a paprika malfunction) and Frank's Red Hot. ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTE! It has to be Frank's and it has to be the regular Red Hot. K?

Cook it up, boil it down a bit, then when the chicken looks doneish, toss it in your deeelicious sauce.

Eat it with veggies, because you probably don't eat enough veggies, unless you're me. Or vegetarian. Bleu cheese optional, though my fridge seems to be void of any atm so I made do.

As an extra bonus round, when the food is done, you can wrap up two yams each in their own nice aluminum foil coat and throw them into a 350 degree oven for baking. They'll be tasty in an hour or so, but you won't be hungry then, so you can put them in the fridge and eat them tomorrow when you're too lazy and worn out from your run to cook anything. YEAH!

Maybe I'll actually update.

2010-08-04T23:52:00.000-07:00

I've spent some very sweaty hours today seasoning my wok. It's not quite ready yet, but I have all the time in the world since my layoff, and I intend to finish it tomorrow. (in addition to sewing up an apron, some medieval garb for my roommate and a cat bed, but since that's off the subject of culinary adventures, I'll not elaborate.)

In the meantime, I cooked a mediocre stir-fry in .... a frying pan.

Throw in:

Some sesame oil

Get it nice and hot. While that's heating up, chop ... err, no, slice... some tofu and throw it betwixt paper towelies and smush it a little to get the extra water out. IF you fail to do so, you'll end up splattered with hot oil, which isn't very nice at all, and the tofu won't get crispy.

Alright, after the tofu's been smushed, lay it gently into the nice hot oil. While that's frying, chop up some:

broccoli (rhymes with e-coli, for the fun of it)

garlic

flip the tofu when one side is nice and crispy, and do the same to the other side. When crispiness is at its apex, remove tofu from frying pan and replace with broccoli and garlic. Throw in some chinese cooking wine and soy sauce. Turn the heat down lest the broccoli get gnasty and burninated.

Kay. You can season your wok a little more while that's cooking. If you don't have a wok, go get one. When that gets nice and warm, throw the tofu back in and heat it up a tad.

Nom it with some sriracha chili sauce (Rooster sauce!) then get your butt to kung fu.

Tasty Beer

2010-05-06T16:44:00.001-07:00

Opa Opa! Blueberry! In a growler, in my fridge, no less. Best with some frozen blueberries... or fresh if you want to shell out.

You know you want a taco.

2010-05-05T19:54:00.001-07:00

I've spent the past week in Santa Paula, CA where Lemons and Avocados come from, and I'll admit I stole part of this recipe from my aunt. It's GOOD though, that is the second most important part and of course the most important is that it is TACOS. Best enjoyed with some sangria, but if your sangria hasn't set enough, add some triple sec to it. YES.

OK.

So start with some ground beef (I bought the grass fed type from Whole Foods because I am a useless hippie like that). You need chorizo too, prolly 1 link of it.

Actually it starts with olive oil. Drizzle some in a pan and put the fire under it. Good. Now chop up some garlic and onions, and throw that into the oil. Try to do the garlic last - I never do, and it ends up brown and crunchy.

Cool, so then once the onions caramelize, throw in the meaty bits. You'll likely need to mash up the chorizo with your fingers a bit to get it into nice pieces. There you go.

Heat it up

Add an envelope of taco seasoning because who are we kidding. That stuff has some kind of crack in it and I can't complain.

Throw in a bit of water too.

Then, chop ye up some tomato and avocado.

Good.

Take some corn tortillas and get them hot in a fry pan with some oil. Mmmmm

Add the cooked meat to the inner bits of the tortilla, throw in tomato, avocado and cheeeese.

Now. While you were cooking the meat, it would be wise of you to make Sangria!!

One bottle of some bit of red wine
one bottle (the bitty ones) ginger ale
some oranges- like 2
a lemon
a lime
more if you can fit it in your pitcher

chop up the fruit, pour the wine over it. I did this backward. Pour in the gingerale. Stick it in the fridge for a long bit. If you don't have a long bit, have some with a splash of triple sec.

Win.

Today's Fruit Serving

2009-05-05T15:13:00.000-07:00

Cameo Apples.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cameo_(apple)

I found them at the local Whole Foods (in Bedford, MA).

Honestly, they taste a lot like a Braeburn apple. Most of the time this is exactly the type of apple I want - the rest of the time, I want an orchard fresh McIntosh, Empire or Courtland!

Inspiration for dinner tonight

2009-05-04T09:04:00.000-07:00

Though I am not grinding my own meat. Z and I are taking the lazy way out, and I think I can convince him to cook.
http://www.donniepinkston.net/2008-07-21/the-perfect-burger.html

My instructions to Z, in case you're curious on how I'm trying to make it easy, and therefore convince him to cook:

1. Put 2 big pots of water on to boil. Add salt to one for corn. Add salt to the other for Salt Potatoes. The salt for those is in the cabinet with the potatoes, to the lower right of the stove.
2. Slice an onion.
3. shuck the corn. http://www.ehow.com/how_2072862_shuck-corn.html - save the husks in a paper bag so I can start composting.
4. Once the water has boiled, put the potatoes in one pot, the corn in the other.

If you want to get really into it...

- take some hamburger outta the fridge
- put it in a bowl, break it into little chunks. DO NOT handle the meat too much or it will end up tough!
- add salt, pepper, and other spices! Cayenne pepper is good, paprika is good, cumin is good, curry powder if you are adventurous.
- Mix the burger meat lightly.
- form into patties.

let the meat rest until I come home :-) then we grill and nom!

I've got some Strongbow Cider and Smuttynose Hanami Ale (http://www.smuttynose.com/beers/seasonal_beers/smuttynose_hanami_ale.html), which is rather tart, like real cherries. If you don't have smuttynose or strongbow anywhere near you, sad sad sad. You could substitute a Blue Moon I suppose. Not the same, but tasty in its own way.

I'll let you know how it pans out.

Sunday Triple Whammy

2009-05-03T21:01:00.000-07:00

I'll keep this as brief as I can. It's Sunday night and you're all getting ready to go to work (or ding a level on WoW, as I am).

But SINCE it's Sunday, there was plenty of time for cooking stuff. Pancakes --> Stuff Tempura --> Kettle Korn

You will likely suffer one or two burns.

Pancakes.

- Dig out the Joy of Cooking
- Turn to the Pancake recipe
- get your frypan wicked hot and toss in some Smart Balance.
- Between getting the recipe and heating the pan, follow the recipe to make the batter. I can't remember it and I didn't invent it, so I'm not going to quote it back here.

So make your first two HUGE pancakes with regular batter. Stir in frozen blueberries for the other two. Here's the kicker - you find your roommates (probably) have devoured all of the maple syrup. Break out some more Smart Balance, confectioner sugar, and some strawberries (yeah, sliced, sugared, and lemoned) that happen to be hanging out in the fridge. Toss that on, get it all melty and tasty and nom away. That takes care of breakfast. Since we had that at 2, that also counted as Lunch. Brilliant!

Stuff Tempura.

So the night before, get all ready because you think you're going to make it then. Slice up (or have your boyfriend slice for you, because he is awesome at cutting stuff):
- 1 chinese eggplant (the long thin ones. Check the asian store if you can't find one in ye olde hypermart)
- 1 yam (sweet potato?)
- Some red and green pepper.
- An onion (yeah he's definitely doing that one)
So when you realize you're out of oil, put that in the fridge to do tomorrow.

Otherwise ready:
- Some shrimp. Mmm

If you're adventurous:
- ground beef
- panko
- Salt, pepper, the usual
- Some soy sauce

Get together for a batter:
- 1 cup rice flour
- 1/2 cup club soda (cold)
- 1 egg

You also need:
- a shitload of oil. Like half a jug of wesson.

And if you don't have a deep fry thermometer, you're screwed.

So put the oil in the wok (or big old pan) and get it heated to 350. That's going to take a bit. While that's getting warm (hot hot hot), get the burger meat and mix it with the panko, salt, pepper, soy sauce, and whatever else looks appropriate.

Then make the batter RIGHT BEFORE you intend to fry. Mix the club soda and the egg. Whisk it pretty good. Then dump in the rice flour and mix it ever so slightly - lumps are OK. Mixing it too much is going to activate too much gluten and it just won't taste right.

So now your oil is nice and hot. Dip something in the batter. Good. Now throw it CAREFULLY in the oil (or place it gingerly with a chopstick). When it's kinda golden (this is rice flour, it's not going to brown much) fish it out. Eat that stuff right away. You can also make a nice sauce but it's doubtful you have dashi on hand. If you do, combine some dashi, soy sauce, mirin, and I think that was it (Z made it) and boil it. When it reaches boiling, take it off the heat and let it cool down.

If your night was anything like mine, the stuff you cooked first will be wicked cold before the last bits are done, so it's completely acceptable to snack as you go. Just make sure you pick the pieces that've been out of the oil for a while...

And finally, Kettle Korn!

Get your Popcorn Pan ready (if you don't have one, get ye to the kitchen supply store for a bigass sauce pan, like 2 gallons or whatever. Has to be a kitchen supply one - that crap at Wal Mart isn't fit to cook mac and cheese).

Put enough oil in it to cover the bottom of the pan ever so slightly, then throw in 3 popcorn kernels. Put the lid on. When one pops, open it back up. Dump in some sugar - I eyeballed it but it must have been around a cup. Add some salt, and enough popcorn to JUST cover the bottom of the pan. TRUST ME - otherwise you will have WAY too much popcorn. That seems like a good idea, but really - no.

As it's popping, shake it shake it shake it. Shake it like mad. That makes it good. When the popping doesn't "ping!" the lid so much, take the lid OFF (it'll help the steam escape, giving you crunchier popcorn! very important) and keep shaking as much as you can. If you know anything you know that when the popping stops, or at least tapers off really slow-like, it's done. Turn the burner off and get that pan offa it. You have to let the corn cool a little before you go a-snackin - otherwise it's not as crunchy and OW OW OW burn.

That's a delicious day.

Sardinhas Assadas - or the only good thing about having dated that Portuguese Bstrd

2009-04-30T09:26:00.000-07:00

It's starting to feel like summer in New England. Yesterday I skipped the gym after work to go to Lowe's so I could grab an adapter for my grill. Yep, an adapter. Z and I bought a grill for 25 bux off Craigslist, but sadly it wouldn't hook up to any modern, decent gas tanks. Our roommates were on the hook for the adapter, since we bought the grill and propane, but it didn't look like they were going to pick one up any time soon. Le sigh.

Summer conjures up other memories for me, besides grilling. Mostly dating this idiot jerk, who happend to be straigh-up from Lisbon. Long story short, he's a sociopath, but I did get one (ok maybe 2) decent things out of dating him. The possibly decent thing is a fairly OK understanding of written portuguese. (I studied it in case I'd ever meet his parents. I never did. His next girlfriend [lots of disgusting drama there] met them 2 weeks after they started dating. I wonder if he tried to pass her off as the same girl he'd been dating the whole time.)

OK but the really good thing about it all was going to stupid Portuguese street fairs around New England, mostly in Providence RI, but we went to a few in New Bedford, Provincetown, and maybe a few other places in MA. The thing that was good about these fairs (because he wouldn't dance with me to the live music, sigh) - and I mean the thing that was TOP NOTCH THE BEST was Sardinhas Assadas!

Giant grills outside with not hamburgers, not hot dogs - Sardines.

These are not my dad's canned sardines. Oh no. Don't even start looking for crackers and mustard.

These are big, and these are good. Crispy, grilled, not a bit fishy.

To accomplish something similar, don't even try broiling. They just won't come out right. You have to use open flame.

So set up your grill, and get your (decent, loving, sweet, perfect, Chinese, geeky) boyfriend to help you when the stupid gas won't freaking work. Then, go get the sardines outta the freezer. If you have fresh ones you're a lucky dork, but if not, the Stop and Shop in Bedford MA (oddly, quite far from New Bedford, MA) stocks them in the frozen fish section. No kidding.

So, they're all frozen. You're not going to grill them like that! Put them in a bowl, no wait - don't. Get a bowl and put some salt in it. I used Kosher, but you could do with sea salt too, I bet. Then, put some cold water in yon bowl. Add the fish. Pretend they're swiming along nicely in the ocean. This takes a good imagination, because those bad boys are frozen solid.

OK when they're in the bowl, go chop veggies or something to grill up with this because srlsy, you don't want just fish. OK maybe you do. Or you could go buy some portuguese bread. I didn't but it's how they serve it at the festas.

Sweet. Now you've waited 15 mins or so. Dump the water. If you want to try it out, brush them with some olive oil and sprinkle on more salt. I didn't do this, and they still ended up awesome. Throw those suckers on the grill. Leave them there for a bit. Go turn them over - the cooked side should be nice and crispy!

Grill them a bit more.

When they look done, take them off the grill and resist the urge to dig in right away - they're hot little buggers. When they're finally cool enough to touch, dig in -- with some reservations. You can flake the crispy skin off if it icks you out a little. I tend to do this. Also, and this is *really* crucial - DON'T bite right into the belly! Oh my god no! Do you like bitter disgusting fish innards? Because that's what you'll get a mouth full of. Eww. Even the flesh that touches it gets a bit of aftertaste. No, no no! ick. So yeah, be careful. Also, sardinhas are quite bony, but the bones are mostly edible and probably a decent source of calcium. They just suck if you get one stuck in your throat (yeah that happened to me).

Aww yeah. You ever going to buy them in a can again? That's what I thought! I'm having more of these tonight.

"Awful Chinese Soup" aka Zhe shold stick with omlets.

2009-03-31T18:14:00.000-07:00

This was for dinner tonight. I *didn't* make it. In case you're curious, the cat had cat food.

Use up from you girlfriend's cupboard:

- 3 things of udon noodles
- All of the dried kelp. The first one you find. This one turned out to be... Kelp. Plenty of it by the looks of things. "It expands exponentially! It looks deceiving!" - Z
- Tofu, 1 block from the chinese store. If you don't have a chinese store, that's a sad situation, and you'll need half a block of the regular white people store tofu. Don't buy it at the health food store because they charge too much.
- Bamboo shoots, 1 package. Really good ones. Again, if you don't have a chinese store you may be outta luck.
- "Chives" - Z Which are actually green onion tops, 3 stalks
- Sesame oil. "This much - glub glub glub glub glub glub, done."
- Soy sauce. "Like 17 dashes. 7 dashes. Not 17".
- MSG (if you don't have a tin of this in your cupboard, for shame.)
- Kosher salt. shoosh some in. "Pinches?"

Water - "yeah." "until I ... I don't know!"

Put the water in first. Yeah, on the stove in a pan. "I got it to simmering"

First, put in the sesame oil, salt and MSG, then soy sauce. Then try to make it taste good "which it almost did". Then, add seaweed "because that adds flavor".

Then take 3 packs of udon noodles and toss them in (uncerimoniously, might I add.)

If you forgot to chop the bamboo and onion tops, like our hero did, do that now and toss those in. In the interim, your udon should (over)cook.

Then toss the tofu in (because it doesn't take long to cook).

"You eat it." With chopsticks, some chopped tomato, and a healthy dose of rooster sauce. (Sriracha chili sauce only - accept no imitations!)

I have some Bread edition.

2009-03-04T21:15:00.001-08:00

So what do you do.

I can't resist bread. Delicious, soft, doughy (in-store) bakery bread.

Problem is, there's just one of me, and I don't care what a great deal the day-old bread was (65 cents), there's just no way I can eat alla that before it goes green and moldy.

But it's sure delicious. You know what else is delicious? Cinnamon rolls. I'm far too lazy during the week to find time to put the dough together and all that, and far too asleep on the weekend.

Too much bread. Not enough time. No cinnamon rolls.

Ladies and gentlemen, I can solve all three of these problems.

All you need is:

- Some butter (I used Smart Balance so my doctor [and sky-high cholesterol] won't kill me.)
- Some brown sugar
-Some - no wait, LOTS of cinnamon (don't be a cheapskate. You can buy more later.)

Oh yeah, and that bread I talked about earlier. White, cushy, tasty, mmmmm.

So put the bread in an oven pan of some sort. The type doesn't matter (well a broiling pan is probably outta the question).

Cut some slices/deep scores into the bread (see, aren't you glad you put it in the pan first?!)

Preheat the oven to 350, or if you're like me, set it to thereabouts at some point before putting stuff in the oven, or immediately thereafter.

Get a saucepan. Put the butter/sorta-butter into it and get that puppy onto a stove burner. Melt it like it's hot.

Stir in some cinnamon, and some brown sugar. As much as you think you need, in proportion to the bread. You could use cream cheese, but mine expired back in 07. Ain't no way I'm eating that.

Stir in MORE cinnamon. Seriously.

Let the mixture boil a little until everything looks rather smooth and thick. Pour that bad boy over the scored bread, making sure you get some in the nooks and crannies you so lovingly cut-hacked-whatever. Soak it.

Throw it in the oven until it looks done to you.

OMG and then eat too much of it. Leave it uncovered on the stove. With any luck, the cats won't eat it (but you never can tell with Bob, fierce feline predator and angel food cake connoisseur.)

Problem solved.

Banana split muffins!

2009-02-23T18:52:00.000-08:00

What's better? Muffins or banana splits? Since it's February, I'm tempted to go with muffins for now. But danged if banana splits aren't tasty. And having some prime muffin bananas, defrosted strawberries and chocolate chips on hand seals the deal. I would have pictures if I hadn't left my camera on whilst transferring images from my memory card to my hard drive. By the way, if anyone would care to send me an SD card reader, I wouldn't say no...

You'll need:

A banana bread recipe. If you don't have one, what are you doing cooking? Seriously. Fine. I'll post one later.
Some variety of mixer (not the cocktail type, this time anyway)
Aforementioned almost-liquid bananas
Defrosted strawberries that just don't go down well on their own, about 1 cup
Teensy chocolate chips, use your discretion
Smart Balance to replace the butter or shortening in your muffins. (For more info on Smart Balance, go here: http://www.smartbalance.com/ Unlike other fake butters, it's wicked tasty and I will actually eat it.)
A sprinkle of oat bran for fun
A tablespoon of vanilla, if your banana bread recipe doesn't call for it.
Muffin wrappers, or whatever you call them. Pastel! Pastel!
A muffin tin! If you don't have one, I am very, truly sorry for you. Improve your life and go find one.

OK. Now all this gets glopped together, one ingredient at a time, in the mixer (OK, in the bowl if you are not blessed with a roommate with a Kitchen Aid.) , in pretty much the order I mentioned, minus any special banana bread instructions. And don't skimp on the vanilla! Really, how much of that do you use in a year?! I thought so. Don't be stingy - slosh a bunch in. Nice!

I never measure the chocolate chips, but the mini ones are better than perfect for this recipe. You don't get too much chocolate in your face, and it almost feels like you are eating something healthy. Almost.

Get yourself a nice deep serving spoon. Set it down for a sec. Put the muffin papers (mmm baking paraphernalia) in the appropriate muffin tin indentations. Then grab your spoon again and glop some batter in about halfway or a tad more. Feel free to lick the spoon when everything's been portioned, but I must warn you, I can accept no responsibility for food borne illnesses contracted as a result of ingesting raw egg. Seriously, I can't. I just don't have time.

Pop it into the oven for about 20 minutes at 350 F. You'll know they're done when a toothpick comes out of them clean (though how the toothpick got there, I cannot account for) OR when the oven starts smoking. In that case, I'd consider them overdone and advise you to buck up, and give the whole shenanigans another shot. Practice makes perfect!